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I was going to have a bit of a rant, but as I started typing, I decided what the f***'s the use. I made the mistake of going back to an old internet haunt to say my final farewell and stupidly checked out some of the threads and idiotically clicked on someone's website. Got my dander up. But I really shouldn't be surprised. I do wonder why I bother though - for what seems an increasing number of people, honesty and integrity is for everyone else. I'm just stupid enough at times to continue to believe the masks that people present and give people the benefit of the doubt. I'm starting to run out faith in others though, and that's what bothers me the most.
One of those silly questionnaires that are supposed to give people insight into who you are as well as to make you reflect on yourself.
What I really got from that excercise is that it's time to let this screen name go entirely. I've stopped posting under it, I've abandoned the email address and I should shut down the IM and LJ to make it complete. I never had anything to hide as RogueLurker, I just found it cool as a screen name in a place where a screen name was appropriate. But I'm no longer part of that place - and likely never really was. So it's time to retire RogueLurker.
( Read more... )
What I really got from that excercise is that it's time to let this screen name go entirely. I've stopped posting under it, I've abandoned the email address and I should shut down the IM and LJ to make it complete. I never had anything to hide as RogueLurker, I just found it cool as a screen name in a place where a screen name was appropriate. But I'm no longer part of that place - and likely never really was. So it's time to retire RogueLurker.
( Read more... )
I still have boxes of comics from my youth - The Uncanny XMen, Teen Titans, Excalibur, V is for Vendetta, Grendel, Cinder and Ashe, Sisterhood of Steel, Dreadlock, Mage, Tales of Terror - the list goes on. At some point I stopped collecting them due to money, space or declining interest. A few years ago we met someone who is an honest to goodness comic book artist and through him and his wife, we end up at parties where comics (and Family Guy, the Simpsons, and a host of other animated shows) are main topics of conversation.
Thanks to that, I'm delving back into comics a bit. No series. As tempting as starting to read a series again is - I don't want to fall into that again. I think I prefer the mini or maxi series - things with a definite end. I loved V is for Vendetta when it was first released in North America and Grendel, although it was a series, had definite arcs/story lines. I'm starting to read some of the "classic" stories and enjoying them. Right now I seem to be on a bit of an Alan Moore kick ... but he does tell a good story.
I don't think I'll become a fixture at the comic book store ... but I am finding them a fascinating source of storytelling - both in narrative as well as in art.
My reading - what I've recently read, am reading and hope to pick up in the near future:
( Read more... )
More years ago than I care to count, my dad took me to see a play at the National Arts Centre when I was a child. He was bound and determined to show my mother that he could be just as cultured as she could be. Ah ... isn't divorce fun. So he bought tickets and told my mom he was taking me. I don't think he told her what the show was, or I doubt I would have been allowed to go with him. Instead I was thrilled and excited eventhough I was forced into a Sunday dress, complete with tights and black patent leather shoes.
The National Arts Centre was a magical place when I was a child (and it still is) with its grand hall, the sweeping main staircase and the enormous granite doors. There were red carpets and marble everywhere and the chandeliers sparkled - especially the glass sculptures that hung from the ceiling, down four stories, suspended in the centre of the spiral staircases that brought you to the mezzanine and balconies. I would often stumble on the stairs, staring either up or down, captivated by the glowing crystals. All the women were dressed in long formal dresses and the men were always in full suits with wide lapels and thick ties. Children were polished to the nth degree and the air buzzed with conversations and an expectant energy as people milled around the foyer, waiting for the lights to chimes that signaled it was time to take your seat.
The National Art Centre meant the Nutcracker or Pantomimes like Dick Whittington's Cat. It was ballets and choirs - and it was where my Nana first told me that we were related to royalty. She gave me her opera glasses and pointed to the Royal Box where the visiting Queen of Belgium was sitting with the Governor General. She leaned over and whispered in my ear that we were related to her, that my great grandparents were from Belgium and had the same last name. My mother gave us both a look as we passed the glasses back and forth, watching the Queen of Belgium as we waited for the curtain to rise. I still look at that box everytime I go to the NAC, and I remember my grandmother's warm hands as she wrapped them around my fingers, helping me focus the tiny binoculars. Everyone needs to think they're a princess at least once in their lives. Even if I didn't really believe it, my Nana wanted me to. And that was enough for me.
So my dad took me to see a play at the National Arts Centre when I was around eight or nine years old. It was a musical, and don't all kids love musicals? To this day, I don't know if he knew what the play was about before we went and I don't know if he ever had second thoughts about bringing me to it after the fact. The songs were fun (I can still sing several of them) there was dancing and wonderfully stirring music. And then there was the scene where the barber slices his customer's throat, a spray of blood erupts from his neck as a airhorn shrieks and the stage goes black. I can't hear an airhorn today without a flash of that memory. My mom still shakes her head about the whole thing. But I loved it. Eight years old and a fan of Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - I suspect it was a defining moment for my love of macabre stories and the thrill of being scared out of my wits.
Perhaps it would seem an odd choice, but I have to give deakat credit for understanding that it has a rather special meaning to me and it was her suggestion a few weeks ago that we go see Sweeney Todd on Christmas Day. Not only do I love the story and the music - but when I see it, I think of my dad, I relive the magic of the NAC and I remember my Nana pointing out the the Royal Box and the wonderful feelings all those things bring about. And I still have a ghoulish love for the story and the music.
The National Arts Centre was a magical place when I was a child (and it still is) with its grand hall, the sweeping main staircase and the enormous granite doors. There were red carpets and marble everywhere and the chandeliers sparkled - especially the glass sculptures that hung from the ceiling, down four stories, suspended in the centre of the spiral staircases that brought you to the mezzanine and balconies. I would often stumble on the stairs, staring either up or down, captivated by the glowing crystals. All the women were dressed in long formal dresses and the men were always in full suits with wide lapels and thick ties. Children were polished to the nth degree and the air buzzed with conversations and an expectant energy as people milled around the foyer, waiting for the lights to chimes that signaled it was time to take your seat.
The National Art Centre meant the Nutcracker or Pantomimes like Dick Whittington's Cat. It was ballets and choirs - and it was where my Nana first told me that we were related to royalty. She gave me her opera glasses and pointed to the Royal Box where the visiting Queen of Belgium was sitting with the Governor General. She leaned over and whispered in my ear that we were related to her, that my great grandparents were from Belgium and had the same last name. My mother gave us both a look as we passed the glasses back and forth, watching the Queen of Belgium as we waited for the curtain to rise. I still look at that box everytime I go to the NAC, and I remember my grandmother's warm hands as she wrapped them around my fingers, helping me focus the tiny binoculars. Everyone needs to think they're a princess at least once in their lives. Even if I didn't really believe it, my Nana wanted me to. And that was enough for me.
So my dad took me to see a play at the National Arts Centre when I was around eight or nine years old. It was a musical, and don't all kids love musicals? To this day, I don't know if he knew what the play was about before we went and I don't know if he ever had second thoughts about bringing me to it after the fact. The songs were fun (I can still sing several of them) there was dancing and wonderfully stirring music. And then there was the scene where the barber slices his customer's throat, a spray of blood erupts from his neck as a airhorn shrieks and the stage goes black. I can't hear an airhorn today without a flash of that memory. My mom still shakes her head about the whole thing. But I loved it. Eight years old and a fan of Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - I suspect it was a defining moment for my love of macabre stories and the thrill of being scared out of my wits.
Perhaps it would seem an odd choice, but I have to give deakat credit for understanding that it has a rather special meaning to me and it was her suggestion a few weeks ago that we go see Sweeney Todd on Christmas Day. Not only do I love the story and the music - but when I see it, I think of my dad, I relive the magic of the NAC and I remember my Nana pointing out the the Royal Box and the wonderful feelings all those things bring about. And I still have a ghoulish love for the story and the music.
but instead I'm doing this ...
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger/Sorcerer (2nd/2nd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-10
Dexterity-9
Constitution-12
Intelligence-14
Wisdom-13
Charisma-11
Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race:
Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.
Primary Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.
Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
Detailed Results:
Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (24)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (22)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXX (4)
Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaos --- XXXX (4)
Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Evil ---- (0)
Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - (0)
Class:
Barbarian - (-4)
Bard ------ (-2)
Cleric ---- (-4)
Druid ----- (0)
Fighter --- (-2)
Monk ------ (-21)
Paladin --- (-21)
Ranger ---- XXXX (4)
Rogue ----- (0)
Sorcerer -- XXXX (4)
Wizard ---- XXXX (4)
Thanks, mallie_kite
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger/Sorcerer (2nd/2nd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-10
Dexterity-9
Constitution-12
Intelligence-14
Wisdom-13
Charisma-11
Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race:
Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.
Primary Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.
Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
Detailed Results:
Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (24)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (22)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXX (4)
Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaos --- XXXX (4)
Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Evil ---- (0)
Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - (0)
Class:
Barbarian - (-4)
Bard ------ (-2)
Cleric ---- (-4)
Druid ----- (0)
Fighter --- (-2)
Monk ------ (-21)
Paladin --- (-21)
Ranger ---- XXXX (4)
Rogue ----- (0)
Sorcerer -- XXXX (4)
Wizard ---- XXXX (4)
Thanks, mallie_kite
I've found my new favourite Christmas song. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a complete Grinch. I still cry when I watch Frosty the Snowman (and I know damned well he's coming back after the mishap in the Greenhouse) and I get positively giddy when i watch the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. But at the end of the day, I have a rather twisted sense of humour and this song really gets me to smile.
I think that this would make a great Criminal Minds episode.
I think that this would make a great Criminal Minds episode.
You are The Hermit
Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.
The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.
The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.
The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
I will have to ask my partner to work with me on the virgin thing, though ... ;)
aggravated
I'm a bit miffed right now and I know that I shouldn't be, but I can't seem to kick my irritation.
Over the past few months I've been looking at e-publishing options for some of my longer stories - not really to make money (I know ... e-publishing is not a place to make money) but I'd like to get the stories out. I have a few that are over 10K and they just won't fit a print anthology's length requirements and I can't cut them without ruining them (at least I think I can't). What I have found is that there isn't much of a market for lesbian erotica in e-publishing. Many companies have "gay/lesbian" categories, but they are primarily gay (what the hell is with all the fricking gay cowboys?) and in the few instances that there's some lesbian selections, they tend to be marketed more as "bi" than as lesbian. I can remember looking at one site about a year ago and they actually said that they would only accept lesbian scenarios if a man was introduced before the scene completed ... wtf???
A few weeks ago, I sent in a Query on a call for submission for a Halloween themed e-anthology asking if they insisted on HEA (happily ever after) and if they would accept a F/F story. The response I got back was that they would accept stand alone F/F but not for the anthology "Because we have many readers that may not expect gay/lesbian content in our anthologies, we don't accept it for those books." I know and understand that as the publishers they have every right to determine what genres/content they want to publish or will appeal to their readers. I know this. It just pisses me off.
At the end of this rant, what's my point? Lesbians need to buy more porn on the Internet.
Over the past few months I've been looking at e-publishing options for some of my longer stories - not really to make money (I know ... e-publishing is not a place to make money) but I'd like to get the stories out. I have a few that are over 10K and they just won't fit a print anthology's length requirements and I can't cut them without ruining them (at least I think I can't). What I have found is that there isn't much of a market for lesbian erotica in e-publishing. Many companies have "gay/lesbian" categories, but they are primarily gay (what the hell is with all the fricking gay cowboys?) and in the few instances that there's some lesbian selections, they tend to be marketed more as "bi" than as lesbian. I can remember looking at one site about a year ago and they actually said that they would only accept lesbian scenarios if a man was introduced before the scene completed ... wtf???
A few weeks ago, I sent in a Query on a call for submission for a Halloween themed e-anthology asking if they insisted on HEA (happily ever after) and if they would accept a F/F story. The response I got back was that they would accept stand alone F/F but not for the anthology "Because we have many readers that may not expect gay/lesbian content in our anthologies, we don't accept it for those books." I know and understand that as the publishers they have every right to determine what genres/content they want to publish or will appeal to their readers. I know this. It just pisses me off.
At the end of this rant, what's my point? Lesbians need to buy more porn on the Internet.
pleased
Well, it's official. I just received my first contract for one of my short stories.
*Drum roll please*
Garden: A Revised Tale will be e-published this summer.
Figures it's for one of my smutty stories - but I hope to hear back officially on Midnight Confession being included in the Haunted Hearths anthology soon.
Now all I have to do is stop grinning like a fool and actually read the clauses and conditions.
*Drum roll please*
Garden: A Revised Tale will be e-published this summer.
Figures it's for one of my smutty stories - but I hope to hear back officially on Midnight Confession being included in the Haunted Hearths anthology soon.
Now all I have to do is stop grinning like a fool and actually read the clauses and conditions.
It's another good day.
giddyJust needed to say that.
A few month ago I submitted Trick of Tryst (thankfully renamed to What's Bred in the Bone) to a glbt anthology, but didn't make the final cut - too many good stories and I am going to guess that mine didn't necessarily mesh well with the others. I suppose it's hard to find an anthology where a magical dildo would fit in. The editor did ask whether I'd be interested if he managed to get a new contract that would allow for another 4K story to be included. (Haworth was the original publisher, so he's kind of in limbo until they figure out what to do now that they've been bought out)
Based on his comments, and the comments I got at the WisCon Writer's Workshop, I figured what the hell - and I've submitted both What's Bred in the Bone (god .. that I so much better than Trick or Tryst: The Dildo of Doom) and Run Run Rudolph to Weird Tales. Both stories are a bit off the beaten track and they are the least smutty of what I've written.
So the next month is going to be a waiting game. While I wait, I think I'm going to revamp Midnight Confession for another Call for Submission and I've got another idea for that same anthology. :)
curious
Not sure I have much to write at this point - I'm just checking out how this is going to look on my page and figure out if I need to play with the backgrounds, fonts, etc.